My Reflection

WALT identify what we did well and find ways we can improve our own persuasive writing. This will help us to write even better next time.

To be successful I will:

• Listen to my writing being read out.  Talk to a buddy about what we did well.
• Look at the success criteria. Talk to a buddy about what we need to improve on.

• Decide on your goals and write them down.

What I did well

I organised my structure well and I have used rhetorical questions.

I have some great connectives

What I can do to try improve my persuasive writing

Next time I will use emotive language and more connectives to hook a link

This is a story me and my group wrote

WALT use persuasive language features to write powerful, persuasive text

To be successful I will:

Emotive language (adjectives that appeal to emotions)

Figurative Language (hyperbole, alliteration, simile, metaphor

Rhetorical questions

Great Connectives (sequencing words

I’m Bringing Bikes Back

I believe that we should be able to bring our motorbikes to school. We can’t at the moment. We could do it on our cross country course.

I think we should be allowed to bring our motorbikes because riding motobikes are fun. Don’t you want your hair like gokus? If I brought  my own little 80cc. It would of be a screamer. I’ll have a weareter engine in it but it will be slow. But one thing everyone will be cracking up because it’s slow. We will be loud on our motorbikes like tigers roaring at people

Do you ever feel bored during break time? Do you see children who are? Well if we had permission to bring our motorbikes we won’t be bored.

Another reason why we should bring our motorbike  is because it will be safe and it will be away from the babies in room 2. Added to this Do not let the people have a turn unless they are skilled.

Therefore, in summary I think we should be able to bring our motorbikes to school because they are fun and we will be safe.

                           THE END.             

                           

My Te Reo Maori Learnig

This is my hole digging story I hope you enjoy it every one

My Success Criteria	Yes/No
Use sequencing words	yes, some
Figurative or descriptive language	yes, some
Capital letters and full stops  and speech marks in right place	not speech marks yet
Use W,W,W,W at the beginning	yes
End with a reflection	not yet

                                                            HOLE DIGGING

                                  Written By Toko Jason Phillips

I kept on looking out  of the window. When’s Aunty going to get here? I thought. It was the second week of my July holidays.In my room I was moaning and groaning. So I went to the sitting room and sat down

As soon as I heard two trucks come down my road I quickly pulled the door open and rushed to my room.  When I ran to my room it felt like I engaged the NOS in a car like fast and furious 2.

Soon we arrived at Aunty Katie's house. “finally were home I said. Aunty where am I sleeping. In the first room. OK”

Next morning it was time for work. “Papa Herb is there any work to do”.  “Yes there is. We're going to dig a hole for a new shed. “OK” “lets get on to it papa.” So we went to start  the digging. We are going to start from here and dig to here. thats us then so we got onto it. Just then I looked at the big block of mud and thought should I pick it up. Moko lift this up. So I was right.  I was straining forever to  lift up the block of mud and try put it into the wheelbarrow. “Wow finally you did it yes I did.Moko go help aunty empty  the wheelbarrow”. “I said this is tiring ay aunty”  “yap it is tiring my boy”.When I said that I was dirty from lifting that big block of mud that I was straining on. “Thats enough for today I’m going to call in my mate”.  “Why? because we ain’t  going to finish it in time.”

Just then Sam arrived with the digger. That was when we were having a feed. “Some is here I yelled out”. “Woow that was fast as Sam”  “I know that  was just a little bite of  work i’m done here so I’ll see you next time ok.”  “Yap”.

That day I’ll never ever forget the time when I was straining to pick the big block of mud at papa Herbs.I’m never going to work for him again.

                                             

                                                  THE END

Thank you cousin Mere aunty Norma and Matt for making this happen for our team big mihi to yous all

PANTHERS VS WARRIORS

One day became a beautiful surprise for Cory.

On Sunday morning 29th of June 2014. I woke up at 4:30am to have breakfast and then go catch the bus to go to Auckland Mt Smart Stadium. The bus  and two vans were ready to go. First of all we had karakia  then we all left Broadway at 5:30 on the dot.On the way down we called into wellsford for breakfast and refreshments around 8 o’clock. We left Wellsford at half past eight on

the way down we practice our haka and sung some songs all the way. The ride was bumpy and slow. When we arrived at Mount Smart Stadium in Auckland we were all ecstatic when we got there. We lined up beside the bus to take photos and did the haka. Then we sorted us some kai so we didn’t have to buy kai in there. We waited until the gates open then we went to go and find our seats. We got some rugby balls,tattoos and some plastic drink bottles. We did a haka for Cory Nira first. Then the we watched Warriors play and  Cory as well.After Cory’s other game we did another haka for him and he replied with a haka back to us it was awesome,it gave me chills up my back.The Panthers won the first game and the Warriors won the last two games.It was a awesome day. We left Auckland around 6:30pm arrived at Burger King Whangarei at 10:00pm where we had dinner. Then we left to come home(Kaikohe)we arrived back in Kaikohe at 11:30 that was a long day primo.

W.A.L.T plan our own mystery narrative.I hope you like it.

 Ghost Girl

A few years ago there was a Kotiro and a Tama.  Their names were Troy who is 10 and Harmony who is 8.  They have a grumpy father Ihaka who is 33 and a lovely mother Laresha who is 32.  They lived in a house next to a tapu cave in the forest.  There was no power down there.

One night became a living horror. Troy and Harmony were asleep upstairs in the scary bedroom.  Harmony heard something so she got out of bed, opened the door and tiptoed down the stairs.  Guess what she saw….a ZOMBIE!  The zombie  had scabby eyes and deep holes in its head. Bones popping out of it’s head and legs.

Even though Harmony was scared, she still jumped out of the window and decided to follow the zombie to the tapu cave.  Suddenly, Harmony started to scream “TROY TROY TROY”.  TROY got up out of his bed and he whistled out to his wild horse Billionaire.  Troy jumped out of the highest window.  He shot down like a rocket with NOS and with his sharp greenstone patu set off atop Billionaire toward the tapu cave.

When Troy got to the mouth of the cave he gathered his courage and went inside.  Troy noticed something “oh no, my torch” Troy whispered to Billionaire.  Billionaire stomped his hooves against the cave floor.  From his eyes came light. ”Lights in your eyes” laughed Troy.  

Troy spotted the walking dead.”Hiah” Troy yelled. Billionaire almost bucked Troy off.  Troy engaged the NOS.  They ran as fast as a bullet.  Troy chopped the head off of the zombie and blood sprayed everywhere.  

Troy grabbed hold of Harmony who was shaking in the corner of the cave and zoomed to the hospital to stop Harmony from turning into a zombie too!                                         

                          THE END

Kia Kaha. This is why I am unique.I hope you enjoy my BIO poem.

Who is cheeky, hard and tough

Who is best brother of Ihaka and son of Kirihi AND ROSIE

Who loves hunting and playing with his kitten

Who feels worried  when dad is angry and felt sad when nan passed away

Who is afraid of bulettes and being in a cemetery at dark

Who graduated in spelling

Who would like to kill a pig with a gun

Who is residence of Cumbers road

Phillips