My Reflection

WALT identify what we did well and find ways we can improve our own persuasive writing. This will help us to write even better next time.

To be successful I will:

• Listen to my writing being read out.  Talk to a buddy about what we did well.
• Look at the success criteria. Talk to a buddy about what we need to improve on.

• Decide on your goals and write them down.

What I did well

I organised my structure well and I have used rhetorical questions.

I have some great connectives

What I can do to try improve my persuasive writing

Next time I will use emotive language and more connectives to hook a link

This is a story me and my group wrote

WALT use persuasive language features to write powerful, persuasive text

To be successful I will:

Emotive language (adjectives that appeal to emotions)

Figurative Language (hyperbole, alliteration, simile, metaphor

Rhetorical questions

Great Connectives (sequencing words

I’m Bringing Bikes Back

I believe that we should be able to bring our motorbikes to school. We can’t at the moment. We could do it on our cross country course.

I think we should be allowed to bring our motorbikes because riding motobikes are fun. Don’t you want your hair like gokus? If I brought  my own little 80cc. It would of be a screamer. I’ll have a weareter engine in it but it will be slow. But one thing everyone will be cracking up because it’s slow. We will be loud on our motorbikes like tigers roaring at people

Do you ever feel bored during break time? Do you see children who are? Well if we had permission to bring our motorbikes we won’t be bored.

Another reason why we should bring our motorbike  is because it will be safe and it will be away from the babies in room 2. Added to this Do not let the people have a turn unless they are skilled.

Therefore, in summary I think we should be able to bring our motorbikes to school because they are fun and we will be safe.

                           THE END.             

                           

My Te Reo Maori Learnig

This is my hole digging story I hope you enjoy it every one

My Success Criteria	Yes/No
Use sequencing words	yes, some
Figurative or descriptive language	yes, some
Capital letters and full stops  and speech marks in right place	not speech marks yet
Use W,W,W,W at the beginning	yes
End with a reflection	not yet

                                                            HOLE DIGGING

                                  Written By Toko Jason Phillips

I kept on looking out  of the window. When’s Aunty going to get here? I thought. It was the second week of my July holidays.In my room I was moaning and groaning. So I went to the sitting room and sat down

As soon as I heard two trucks come down my road I quickly pulled the door open and rushed to my room.  When I ran to my room it felt like I engaged the NOS in a car like fast and furious 2.

Soon we arrived at Aunty Katie's house. “finally were home I said. Aunty where am I sleeping. In the first room. OK”

Next morning it was time for work. “Papa Herb is there any work to do”.  “Yes there is. We're going to dig a hole for a new shed. “OK” “lets get on to it papa.” So we went to start  the digging. We are going to start from here and dig to here. thats us then so we got onto it. Just then I looked at the big block of mud and thought should I pick it up. Moko lift this up. So I was right.  I was straining forever to  lift up the block of mud and try put it into the wheelbarrow. “Wow finally you did it yes I did.Moko go help aunty empty  the wheelbarrow”. “I said this is tiring ay aunty”  “yap it is tiring my boy”.When I said that I was dirty from lifting that big block of mud that I was straining on. “Thats enough for today I’m going to call in my mate”.  “Why? because we ain’t  going to finish it in time.”

Just then Sam arrived with the digger. That was when we were having a feed. “Some is here I yelled out”. “Woow that was fast as Sam”  “I know that  was just a little bite of  work i’m done here so I’ll see you next time ok.”  “Yap”.

That day I’ll never ever forget the time when I was straining to pick the big block of mud at papa Herbs.I’m never going to work for him again.

                                             

                                                  THE END