Ghost Girl
A few years ago there was a Kotiro and a Tama. Their names were Troy who is 10 and Harmony who is 8. They have a grumpy father Ihaka who is 33 and a lovely mother Laresha who is 32. They lived in a house next to a tapu cave in the forest. There was no power down there.
One night became a living horror. Troy and Harmony were asleep upstairs in the scary bedroom. Harmony heard something so she got out of bed, opened the door and tiptoed down the stairs. Guess what she saw….a ZOMBIE! The zombie had scabby eyes and deep holes in its head. Bones popping out of it’s head and legs.
Even though Harmony was scared, she still jumped out of the window and decided to follow the zombie to the tapu cave. Suddenly, Harmony started to scream “TROY TROY TROY”. TROY got up out of his bed and he whistled out to his wild horse Billionaire. Troy jumped out of the highest window. He shot down like a rocket with NOS and with his sharp greenstone patu set off atop Billionaire toward the tapu cave.
When Troy got to the mouth of the cave he gathered his courage and went inside. Troy noticed something “oh no, my torch” Troy whispered to Billionaire. Billionaire stomped his hooves against the cave floor. From his eyes came light. ”Lights in your eyes” laughed Troy.
Troy spotted the walking dead.”Hiah” Troy yelled. Billionaire almost bucked Troy off. Troy engaged the NOS. They ran as fast as a bullet. Troy chopped the head off of the zombie and blood sprayed everywhere.
Troy grabbed hold of Harmony who was shaking in the corner of the cave and zoomed to the hospital to stop Harmony from turning into a zombie too!
THE END
Toko your story is so engaging! You have used magnificent language throughout your story. Well done for creating a story that has suspense. Next time you post your work take the colour of the success criteria off first okay.
ReplyDeleteAgain, well done for working on a piece of writing until completion. I hope you post more soon.
Well done on your story Toko. I like how you used your highlighters to highlight your special language features.
ReplyDeleteHi Toko, I loved your story it was great and really interesting. You could of touched up your story a little but other than little things your story was great I loved your story top marks.
ReplyDeleteHi Toko I really like this story It sound like a cool game to play. But she could of had more speech but other than that loved it :)
ReplyDeleteIT WASN'T A GAME IT'S A STORY. FROM TOKO
DeleteKia Ora Toko WOW!!! what an awesome story Toko your 3rd paragraph really hooked me in keep up with the good work Toko
ReplyDeleteFrom Demetrius